A season of reflection

I will be leaving Mercy Ships in six weeks time and I am very much in a season of transition. I find myself spending quite a lot of time reflecting on the last five years of working in Africa. Two things in particular have made me reflect.

First, we have had a film crew, or to be precise three film crews from National Geographic on board with us since August. Known as NatGeo, they are making eight, one hour episodes of TV about Mercy Ships. That is huge! The main producer, Madeline, and one of the cameramen was on board with us in Guinea in autumn 2012 and they produced an Australian documentary called The Surgery Ship.  I really liked the way the way Madeline made that film but what has been really interesting is how much Mercy Ships has changed since then. Back then, medical capacity building was only just being thought about and I had just been asked to spend up to 50% of my time thinking how we could do ‘training’. Now, four years later, training is a core part of Mercy Ships’ focus. It has been a big culture shift in how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us. I have found it helpful to reflect on how much we have grown organisationally, and personally very rewarding to have NatGeo here to film the medical capacity building story among the numerous patient stories. The NatGeo film teams are fun to work with. I have spent time anesthetising patients that NatGeo are following, including babies with large facial tumours who present huge challenges for anaesthesia; and I have given numerous interviews. I am happy talking about surgery and anaesthesia; I love talking about medical capacity building; and I literally tear up when they ask me about my departure. Tears of grateful thanks at how Mercy Ships has changed and how I have been able to be a part of that, and how I have changed and grown personally, professionally and emotionally. The NatGeo team are such professional interviewers that they seems to know how to ask deep questions in such a way that I find my emotions unravelling as feelings surface that are actually quite hard to articulate. But sometimes tears convey a thousand words.

The second event that caused me to reflect was a recent trip to Chicago. I have been privileged to go to the American Society of Anesthesiology (ASA) meeting for four of the last five years. I was first invited in 2012 to help teach the ‘paediatric difficult airway workshop’.  Over the years my attendance at the ASA has served as not only a great source of continuing medical education for me, (it is huge - approximately 9,000 anesthesiologists and over 600 different sessions), but also a great source of support and encouragement. Back in 2012 when I was just beginning to ask the question, ‘How can Mercy Ships do medical capacity building and how can I create a plan to meet the desires of the Congolese government?’ I met many people at the ASA who were involved in global health or surgical missions. They helped and encouraged me and were good sources of stimulating discussion and proved to be good sounding boards. I quickly realised that ‘none of us have it all together’ and over the last few years we were often wrestling with the same questions and challenges as we strived to make our big dreams reality.  But this year was different. It was still a source of encouragement as I re-connected with people who have now become close friends, but additionally it enabled me to reflect how far Mercy Ships has come, and how much I have learnt.  I attended a few sessions where people discussed issues of credentialing medical volunteers, or how to monitor quality in the surgical outcomes of mission-based surgery, and I realised just what a good job Mercy Ships does in these areas and how over the last five years we have worked hard to create systems and processes that ensure patient safety and that quality of care is our priority. Furthermore, on a very personal note, a few different people at different times commended me on my wisdom and insight. Comments that caused me to pause and look at back at just how much I have learnt over the last few years as Mercy Ships has worked from grassroots level to government level to help build the capacity of low income nations to deliver surgical care and to develop policies that support and strengthen their health systems. I certainly don’t consider myself an expert, but I can pause and reflect how much I have learnt and grown. So this year at the ASA it was a pleasure to be able to give a little back, to provide support and encouragement to others, as well as receiving myself.

I am one of those people who are always looking to the future. I am a visionary and a pioneer. I see what needs to happen and I start to go after it, sometimes without pausing to draw breath. Often I am on to the next thing without waiting for others to catch up!!  And that can be exhausting for those around me! One of the things someone told me once in a feedback session, was that I needed to take time to stop and reflect, not just for myself but for others - to let them catch up and regroup.  But I know it is important for me too. Spiritually , I know pausing and reflecting is vital to draw strength from what we have achieved, to praise God for his hand upon us, and to remember his blessings and favour.  It helps us have thankful hearts that overflow with joy.

So I am grateful for NatGeo and time at the ASA in Chicago that has caused me to pause and reflect. And as I do so, I find my heart full of joy and thankfulness, and that brings tears to my eyes at unexpected moments. SO, today I am thankful for this season of reflection, which I believe it is an important aspect of my transition. In six weeks I will have left Mercy Ships and be in London, expectant at what the future will hold.