We are packing up in Togo. This field service is over and we are preparing to go to Guinea. What legacy have we left behind? What impact have the people of Togo left on our hearts? As many crew members depart, and less than half of us are left onboard for the sail, I have witnessed many tearful goodbyes. Many times I have heard the phrase ‘It breaks my heart’. Indeed, I have said it myself.
But is it actually true? Does it really ‘break my heart’ when I say goodbye? Or is it more that my heart is so full, it is simply overflowing.
Imagine your heart is like a cup full of orange juice. If the cup is cracked or broken, the orange juice spills out. It makes a mess, and my hands get sticky. It the cup contained hot tea, my hands would be burnt and it would hurt. The same would happen if the cup wasn’t broken and I just kept pouring the orange juice in. It would overflow and run down the sides and make a mess, the hot tea would spill over and burn my hands. A broken cup and an overflowing cup can look the same. But the difference is, the broken cup ends up empty, the overflowing cup stays full.
It is the same with my heart. That is why I am growing to dislike the phrase, ‘It breaks my heart’. I prefer to say, ‘My heart is overflowing’, because I believe that is the truth. When I say goodbye to someone I love, it hurts because I grieve the loss of their physical presence in my life. But my life is still richer, my heart fuller because I met them. I am thankful for the blessing they have been to me and the times we have shared together. Saying goodbye does not and should not ‘break my heart’.
And as a follower of Christ, I remember the promises of God which are:
I am with you always; I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have plans for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you.
Then the question is, do I believe what God says? It is either true or false? There is no middle ground. No option to think ‘sometimes God’s with me, sometimes He’s not’ or ‘I know he has plans for me, but maybe they aren’t that good because he doesn’t really love me’. Little seeds of doubt can so easily creep in, eroding our confidence in God’s word, and ultimately our faith and trust in Him.
So for me, when I say goodbye, I chose to trust what God says is true. He loves me and is with me always. And God also loves the person I will miss. He is with them always too, and He goes with them in ways I cannot possibly go. I don’t want to cling onto them any more than I want them to cling onto me. I want to be the woman who walks out the plans and purposes God has for me, even if that means leaving and walking away. And I want to release my friends to do the same. When they leave, I want to say goodbye and send them off, releasing them into Gods hands, to fulfil the plans and purposes God has designed for them.
Why is this important? Well it is all about speaking and believing truth versus lies. I believe we need to fight for truth. Why confess a lie, when you can confess truth. More on that another time. Meanwhile, as I say my goodbyes, I am not going to say ‘It breaks my heart’, because I don’t think it is true. The truth is my heart is overflowing and richer and fuller because I have known you. And I release you to go with God, in the knowledge of his love and to walk into all the plans he has for you.
